Can you love your child too much? Personally, there’s one unequivocal answer to this question: no. However, I’ve noticed lately that I sometimes “worry” that friends on facebook will be irritated that nearly all my comments, photos, and posts are about Gracelyn. “Is that all Shonnie cares about?” they might say to themselves. Or, “She really needs to get some other interests,” or “She sure is boring me with everything baby,” might be their secret judgments.
Well, as much as I want to please others (yep, still a preference of mine), I’m delighted with my deep and abiding focus on my daughter and my experience as her mama. Here’s why I’m so committed:
- I love her and want her to know this in her bones without a shadow of doubt. I believe that she will “know” my love based in part on my intentional commitment of time and attention.
- This stage in Gracelyn’s life is profoundly formative in so many ways. Her sense of trust is being built along with her self-esteem. Her neurological system is making connections that will serve her over her entire life. The foundations of her physical, emotional, and mental well-being are being laid, ready to support her in all the years to come.
- I have the time to be with her with very few other competing responsibilities. While my intention is to craft a life that continues to allow such devotion, an abundance of undistracted time may not always be our norm, so I want to give her all of me that I possibly can now.
- Lack of love is permanently damaging and, in my opinion, a significant factor in much of what ails our world today. I want to help create a brighter future for Gracelyn AND all others who call our planet home, so I’m focused on providing love in abundance for my child.
- It’s deeply rewarding — for me and for her. I know it is for me and I’m confident that it is for her based on how I see her growing and interacting with the world. I wake up every day completely inspired by the “work” that’s before me.
- There’s no downside. While some people think you can “spoil” a child, there’s not one shred of evidence for this belief. Loving one’s child devotedly, faithfully, and unconditionally is one of the most important endeavors we’re ever given the opportunity to undertake. I’m grateful and honored that it’s an endeavor that connected with my life path. (By the way, even if you don’t have children, being with other’s offspring in a loving, honoring, and respectful way is so important AND truly valued by parents everywhere.)
“Parents and children also constantly influence each other’s resonances. Our lives orbit within each other’s force fields, physically, emotionally, and psychically, and we are continually interacting and influencing each other in subtle and not-so-subtle ways, sometimes known, sometimes wholly unconscious.”
~Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn