We’ve received oodles of loving, supportive, congratulatory notes from folks as we’ve announced our pregnancy. One thing several have noted — and I’ve heard said before — is that parenting is one of the hardest jobs ever. What I’ve noticed within myself is a resistance to thinking of it as “hard work.” My monkey mindtalk says I’m naive and that only someone who hasn’t ever been a parent would think such inanity. Mindtalk be damned, however, I told Baby Lav-Mulk how I wanted to think of parenting.
My parenting vision
I envision parenting as soul-opening, heart-expanding, growth-inducing, and ego-eradicating. I also hope that being a parent will help me let go of that which no longer serves me, embrace the truth about myself, and become more fully who I was made to be. To me, parenting is about serving — both another soul and a higher calling — which, although certainly imbued with moments of great challenge, is truly one of the most pleasurable parts of life.
So I have two questions for you.
- In what positive or affirming way do/did you frame parenting to help guide you through this important role?
- If your ideas about how to “do” parenting changed over time, in what ways did they shift?
If I had my child to raise all over again,
I’d build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I’d finger-paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I’d take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I’d take more hikes and fly more kites.
I’d stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I’d do more hugging and less tugging.~Diane Loomans, from “If I Had My Child To Raise Over Again”
There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings.~Hodding Carter, Jr.